April 30, 2013

• Sober Anxiety Defined

  Hello World!

            I hope everyone is doing well this week, and having a great day today. Today's subject is one I know oh too well. It definitely is something I have dealt with almost my entire life but has been dormant and has recently come back to haunt me the other day. Yes indeed, I am talking about the most annoying thing ever, ANXIETY!

  Like I stated anxiety is something I've dealt with almost my entire life, and honestly the main reason for my anxiety was drinking. I have recently, almost about 3 weeks coming up to be exact, decided to take 6 months to a  year off of drinking. I have noticed drinking was definitely consuming my time and my life. It was starting to get to the point where it was no longer for enjoyment but for necessity.  Unfortunately the reason I decided to start drinking or to go out for the first time to a party was a break up with a boyfriend one to two weeks prior to my first time going out, this was in 2005 or 06. Rather than dealing with being emotional and sad (which I no longer do when it comes to those things, I've learned from experience it is not worth being so down over someone who will definitely not be worrying about you), I decided to go out with one of my best friends and have fun. I will admit I have had a lot of fun with all of the people I've met but most of them were just drinking buddies or using me for a good time. 

  The only thing I do regret is focusing my life on drinking for the next couple of years, until the past few years where I have slowly but surely redirected my focus to things that really should be taking up my time. A step in the right direction is always better late then never. 

  Moving back to the other main focus of this post is anxiety, A couple of days ago I was having a great day, watching some movies, having some green tea and getting ready to take a shower; I started feeling a bit uneasy. I ignored it because I thought it was just my body trying to tell me "lets drink" ( I had the day off the day after and usually before my decision I would drink because I did not have anything to do the next day so I could deal with the hang over). I took a shower listened to some music and sang along and sure enough my anxiety finally kicked in. 

  Honestly I have not felt such bad anxiety as that day, I was shaky, nervous, could not stop pacing around, had trouble breathing correctly, it was more of a panic / anxiety attack. My body was so used to having alcohol in my system that I guess it was in a bit of shock I suppose. I did my breathing exercises and listened to some relaxing music and just laid on the ground and id some deep breathing. 15 minutes later I finally was able to calm myself down and get myself together. Prior to that I was not so used to dealing with anxiety I would freak out and end up having to go to the hospital and getting prescriptions for Xanax to help me deal with it,but I do not like taking anxiety medication. It is addicting and from being at work and seeing how bad people become so dependent on "helpful" medication that I do not want to turn into that. It definitely is something I have to get used to having so much free time in my hands to go do things I want to and I finally have time to make videos again, and do make up "tutorials" which is very exciting. 

  I've noticed since I've stopped drinking these past two weeks I've saved about 240 dollars, which seems like a lot when added but when you drink you don't think about it. I'ts always "oh its just 5 dollars, or 20 dollars. that's not too bad" it adds up obviously. 

   

  So tell me: Any of you suffer from anxiety / panic attacks? How do you deal with it? What do you think triggers you to have these episodes? 

  • 4:59 pm
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