This song I found today. It's an unreleased track by Brandy feat. Ne-Yo titled " Decisions " I love me some Brandy.

Well I figured I would update everyone on what's going on while I continue working on my next "inspirational" blog. I really hope those who feel down did read my previous blog and I brought some piece of mind, or made them a little happier =].

I've been invited to my first "Gay" party that is happening in two weeks. I have not been to an actual party in a long time, it's something I'm looking forward to and actually get to do some dancing, it has been too long lol. I also decided to make this text a little bigger so those who have trouble reading would be able to read it somewhat better, I have a tip for that actually near the end of this post

This guy has been continuously trying to hang out with me, at first it was meerly "sexual." That's what I have been getting lately, is all these dudes just hitting me up telling me how good I look to them and how they want to do this and that. I am not looking for things like that so it's getting really hard to even try looking for a relationship lately. Anyways, that guy I made it clear I want nothing to do with him and he says, he hasn't been trying to hang out with me to have sex, but he actually wants to get to know me and has a lot of respect for the way I hold my own, beliefs and morals wise. I am going to allow myself to meet him, of course with my guard up and I can take care of myself so I'm not really worried abou thim trying anything.

I am almost done with school and I have not been studying my medicines like I should be so right now I am trying to cram (and remember) all I can as much as I can so I haven't had time to talk to people really, I also changed my plan on T-mobile from "flex pay" to "unlimited" and it ended up being cheaper and i now have two months to pay my bill that has been lowered lol. So I am very excited about that. Until next time, I will have more to talk about I am sure and hopefully that blog will be written the way I want it to be, I want those serious blogs to be thought out not just BS =]

I also recently have been dying to do some more work with photoshop and picture editing so if you have an image of yourself that you'd like edited or any graphics made for a webpage or your journal even, feel free to message me for further details. Below is an example of my picture edits I have done. I actually will just provide the links (they open in new windows).

Edit sample 1 (before & after)
Edit Sample 2
Edit Sample 3
Edit Sample 4

You can even use my entire layout as a sample of what I can do. =]

Computer Tip # 1 Ctrl + Scroll Up

So I thought I would add some computer tips for people because I learn these as I go on my own or learn them online. But Actually I learned this one on my own on accident.
If you have trouble reading someone's text, you can always zoom in to view it. Rather than dong all this work to zoom the page you can do this. Hold the Ctrl button on your keyboard and while holding you Ctrl button scroll up on your mouse (assuming your mouse has a scroll wheel in between the right and left click buttons).

Cant Wait to read all your updates and comment

"Dare to Be Different!!"

I will continue putting the music at the top but for this blog I wanted to leave it at the bottom because I would love for everyone to listen to the lyrics that's in the song. From a couple of posts I have been reading from certain xanga users, things have not been going so well with you but I wanted to take the time to acknowledge you. You guys do not realize how much amazing strength you have for dealing with issues on a daily basis. The fact that you feel like giving up, and feel like you do sometimes, but actually dont is proof of real strength. People like you inspire me to be the person I am. Everyone that ever has a big problem in life like: family, orientation issues, being picked on, love, life, etc ... the fact that you feel like you given up and keep on living is a great strength that you posses that you do not realize you have. So my hat tips off to you. I have been there before so I realize my strength and I hope you do, if you  do not then realize how amazing you are for being a strong person, even if u dont think you are ... YOU ARE!

I'm going to keep it short because I wanted to just say that to anyone and everyone that does not realize the strength they possess within that should be acknowledged. 

This is the song I dedicate to all of you, it is called "Titanium" by David Guetta Feat. Sia and if you do not know the strength you actually possess, know that I know, and other people know.

I decided to take @FalconBridge 's suggestion and I'm starting with the music first so you can listen to it while you read the blog. I chose a more easy listening song, like the Anoraak song it's a midnight cruising kind of song it's "Voyager" By Daft Punk Enjoy =] ( Unlike the Anoraak song this has no lyrics).

We've all been there and are probably there right now, trying to find love and honesty at the same time. Never really goes the way we plan it to for the most part. Although I did put these two subjects together and they will go hand in hand, I am going to discuss them seperately, from my personal point of view.

I've lately been at a crossroads with honesty and love in particular. It's hard for me to admit to someone I like them let alone love them or have love like feelings towards them. Unlike the majority of the population that has a very vain perspective on what love really is, I tend to look for more of a personality and do my best to look past imperfections. I will say I am picky to an extent I do not let small imperfections blurr that real persons beauty physically and intellectually. I've had many male suitors but none the less I always go back to wanting the one person I know I cannot have, or does not want to pursue a relationship with me. It's very difficult to understand the workings of my mind and try to realize why I'm so infatuated with this person? ( I don't want to give out any names). I've tried many times to get over this enthralling person and never the less, my efforts always end up in vain. It seems like I can't be honest with him and really let him know how I feel because I know the answer and yet on the inside I let myself think that their is a possibility of something there because of past events that have happened, which is a possibility of why I feel so subconsciously persistent with subliminally pursuing this person. The world many never know lol.

On a different note, it's also come to my attention that people want and desire honesty, myself included; but how honest is too honest? We all claim we want people to be honest with us but when they are somethings were better left unsaid, or even better off being a lie all together. Determining to pursue friendships that are 100% honest never really work, if someone told u that they slept with your boyfriend, you wont automatically be "thanks for being honest with me" and let it slide. So to sum it up as I previously stated ... how honest is too honest?

"What is something that you'll never live down?" - Xanga

Honestly something I know that I will never live down is all the drunken moments I've had with people around me, it's funny to remenise on them but sometimes people take reminding you of how you acted can be taken too far and ends up hitting a nerve when they dont realize they are

Going with vanity I would like to share this old video called "Doll Face" portraying a single face seeking perfection at any cost (my view on it) I'm sure some have seen this before, if not then I hope you find it interesting.

Can't wait to read your updates and comment

-Armando Lush
"Dare To Be Different!!"

I do apologize for not updating in 5 days, I believe, I've been a little busy with my externship paperwork // meeting thing at school. It's been consuming my time and it's been a pretty exciting time for me as well. I just wanted to start off by giving a HUGE THANK YOU!!!!!! to @DominatingThinspo for posting about me on his blog, that was very sweet of you and I appreciate it . 

Well, I guess I will talk about how irritated I am with some of the people I know on Facebook at the moment, specifically Facebook because its where it's been happening mostly. Lately most of my friends / acquaintances I have added on there keep updating their status' with " If you want to bitch and complain, why not start a blog, and not do it on here, no one cares about your problems." While I did start a blog not necessarily to complain but it somehow ends up being a complaint because it is something I do take seriously when I get into it on here, but for a place for me to vent my thoughts and feelings on issues or just to hear and be heard. It is irritating to me that they would say such a thing, not directed at me of course or else I'd give them what for, but that they would believe they do not complain at all and that others do not feel the same. I feel the same at times when I read people complaining, but I know I do it as well and instead of complaining or bitching on there and automatically becoming a hypocrite; I empathize with these people because I know how it feels when someone has a hard day and they just want someone to talk to and when they dont they resort to going online and either posting a blog or posting a status update on Facebook. I'll leave it at that and just ask how you all feel about that? 

On a more personal note, I started working out again and I completely forgot how good it felt to work out and how I used my exercising on getting rid of the stress of the day. After I did my little exercise routine I always do ( Push Ups, Sit ups, Crunches, Jumping Jaxs', ETC) I always feel so relieved and satisfied. Hopefully I can continue this because I have been a lot happier lately because I don't carry that frustration with me in the back of my head or just internally at all. Another thing that has happened to me lately is at work, I had to go to the back and fetch something for a customer and my phone ended up falling into the sink, mind you the sink was plugged up and slightly filled with water. My phone is a MyTouch4G and that is not easy to replace and I cannot get insurance on my phone for another 6 months (long story). Of course I was freaking out when this happened, oh! my phone was in my pocket and what I was reaching for was above the sink so as i was lowering myself my jeans pushed against the sink pushing the phone up and out of my pocket. Luckaly, my phone broke open so the battery was not intact so no electricity was running through it so nothing really got damaged. I let it dry and PRAYED that it was ok.Thankfully it was, now the only weird thing it does is when I put it in "sleep" mode it turns off, on and back off again. 

OH! I Almost forgot, I re-joined this old website I used to be on and an ex boyfriend (sort of) is on there and i re-added him and ever since he's been completely on me. He's been telling me so many awkward but flattering things like I'm such a big turn on and I've spoken to him on the phone and how he missed my voice. I don't know how to feel about that because he does not live near me and I kind of have my eye out for someone else =/. I have more to talk about but that's going to be on a different post that will be no so much of a ramble as this one lol =] 

"What's the funniest joke you know?" - Xanga

Honestly I know a couple but the only one is of course a racial joke. Hopefully it's not too crude // rude (and inappropriate) for anyone, so here it goes. 

"There was an American, A Mexican, and a Canadian walking down the dessert. They were hungry and have been walking for a while when they come upon a fruit farm. They Jump the fence and start eating some fruit. The farm owner catches them, pointing a gun at them he says " I'll let you go if you can stick 100 of your favorite fruits up your A** without laughing" The American goes first and picks grapes, at about 80 he laughs and *BOOM!* gets shot. The Canadian goes next he picked berries after 60 he also laughs and gets shot. At the gates of heaven they get asked "why did you two end up laughing?" To which they replied " Because the mexican choose watermelons" 

Kinda long and inappropriate but its the only one i remember lol =/ 

Well I thought I'd share one of my more recent pictures I've taken, I'm not so GLAMED up as I am in my default but I like it, gotta keep it simple sometimes. =] 

I actually just recently found this song it's more upbeat then the previous song that was more 80's cruise music. I was going to put an upbeat 80's song but I'll save that one for my next post. This song is "Night Of Your Life" By David Guetta Feat. Jennifer Hudson, from his up coming album "Nothing But The Beat" I actually listened to this song as I was working out today and it kept me going to push even more. 

Well, I hope you all like the new layout I made for my blog, took me a good hour to make it lol. Well that's not exactly what I was trying to talk about in this blog, but i thought i'd bring it up. Anyways, The past two days have been very weird for me. I honestly do not know how to describe how and why I was feeling that way. The past two days I was i guess in a way depressed, my body kind of ached, felt like I was getting sick and I was extremely tired and slept through most of the day and if I didn't that's all i wanted to do. I thought something might have been wrong with me but apparently a lot of people I know were having weird days // feelings at the same time I was. Maybe something was in the air that was messing us all up or it was just World Wide PMS or something lol. 

Even my own mother said she was having weird feelings, or days the past two days. Luckily, today I feel a whole lot better, back to normal even. I was even in a better mood than I was the past two days, i was so irritated and didn't want to talk to anyone. I'm glad that it wasn't just me. Well, it also seems every person I hooked up with when I was a little HOE-ISH has been hitting me up lately trying to get back on the bandwagon, and im talking about this being years ago when I did this. I do not do anything like that anymore but apparently they haven't changed. Nothing much to say today so i'll end it with that lol . 

Well since xanga does have a "daily question" thing before you post i thought i'd give it a go. 

"What dish have you always been curious to try but haven't yet done so? What about cuisine?" - xanga

A dish that I would say I've always been curious to try but haven't yet done so would have to be, well actually it's not a dish it's a soup, I've never tried clam chowder lol i've always wanted to try it but i'm scared i'll barf if i don't like it lol . A cuisine i would have to say is authentic greek cuisine. 

I'm curious if u guys have not answered this question yet, what would u be curious to try? 

 This song is one a friend introduced me to actually, and I've loved it every since. It's really nice to listen to on long trips or even driving at night. Ironically the song is called Night Drive with you, it's by Anoraak and the remix is by GRUM (love him!) Hope you like it !

I bet most of you thought as soon as you read the title I would be discussing how I will start a pre-operation regiment so I could prepare myself to transition into a woman. Well, that's not the case nor something that will occur in the near, distant, or any future. I wanted to discuss how people assume things so quickly of people, including myself. 

I will admit that it is really easy to assume that because I have long hair and make-up on, that I am some sort of: Cross-dresser, transsexual, transvestite, or Drag queen. To be clear I do not label myself as any of those options because I am none of those options. By definition and standard I do not even fit into any of those categories. I'm always asked if I am either one of those things and I cannot say yes, because I am not and I don't feel like any of those things. It's easy to say that I love and enjoy being a man and all aspects of being a homosexual male. The only difference between me and the "gangster gay" community is I have long hair and make-up. 

Most of my friends have known me through high school when I did not even touch make up nor had an inclination to try on make up, but as the fates would have it I now do wear make up from time to time and enjoy playing with make up. The whole aspect of make up is illusion and to mask certain things about yourself. I have fun playing with it because it entertains me, that goes with the hair as well. Eventually I will stop wearing make up, and loose the hair I have growing from my scalp but until then those who can accept me, I welcome you. To those who feel awkward being my friend ... TRUST ME, I'll loose one of you, I end up gaining 3 or more. 

As most gays I have never really been picked on in high school for being different, nor beat up or ridiculed for anything I am, so I cannot say that I have had a hard life. I had a hard life doing the things I want to do in order to become the person I want to be, whatever that may be today, tomorrow, next week , or next year, or 10 years from now. We all take life a day at a time, but some people really need to learn to accept EVERYONE, even if they DON'T have a label, because honestly I've gone from "goth" looking, to "scene" looking, to "mexican" looking, to now "tranny" looking. My look will always change, no one will know maybe next week ill shave my head and grow out a beard lol. That decision is mine and people should allow others to make their own decisions or should make their own decisions not easy ones to try and fit in with everyone else. 

I took these pictures today on my way to orientation for my last and final class until I start my externship (and it's online so I have even more free time now before then)

Well this time the music is also the video lol. but I have been listening to this song for a long time now, and it's one that always chills me out and somehow gets me to think about stuff lol hope u like it

well considering I haven't udpated in a while instead of speaking of my day I thought I'd sum it up in visual representations of it. Here are two videos of myself and a couple of pictures of myself to sum up how I have been i'll have a real update for you tomorrow (or later today after I wake up) but hope you like the pictures // videos.

 Well considering I have not updated in a couple of days I'd update you guys on me lol. Well, this week was finals week and thankfully I passed the two classes I had to take (one on campus and one online) with A's in both classes. My final for my online class was a descriptive speech I had to record and submit, sort of a How-to speech, and I chose to do it on "how to make a Turkey Cuban" sandwich lol. My friend is coming back from visiting his family on the 15th or 18th, I cannot remember, but he is a tattoo artist and I will hopefully get my tattoo soon. I haven't decided what I want to get as my very first tattoo but I know I don't want it to be something I will regret.

I have one class left in my program to receive my A.S. in Pharmacy Technician (sounds weird but that is the degree) before I start my "externship" and hopefully if I do well I will have the opportunity to be offered a job at the externship site I choose to go to. I know I said Externship instead of Internship, if you don't know the difference, Internship is volunteer hours before being hired, Externship they don't usually hire people but if we do well we will be asked to stay on permanently. I'm excited!!

Also, I have been deciding to change up my theme for my blog, but I have no idea what color or how to go about changing it, so if you guys have any suggestions or Ideas that would be amazing! Two of my friends recently got married this week on Monday! Very excited for them and I hope all goes well and they stay together for a very long time (forever). I also go to hang out over the weekend with a different friend of mine, I can't recall most of the night lol but I remember having fun and laughing. I hope I wasn't too messy while I was there lol. I have had an issue on Facebook lately, that I will make a completely different post later, probably tomorrow. All these serious posts about issues are usually GAY issues I have lol. But sooner or later they do acknowledge gay, straight and transgendered people. I don't discriminate on issues, but the one's I've had lately are with a particular group (stereotypical) gay males on Facebook I will address lol. Until then I'll be reading and catching up on everyone else's posts and commenting =] <3

Well I wanted to share two pictures with you guys, one is a picture from a "look" i described in i believe my 2nd post with all blue lol. I really liked it, and the second picture is just one I took today before my final lol =]

I didn't have a video I wanted to share with you guys this week but I do have a song I hope you guys like, it's a remix by Fred Falke, and the song is "Dancing on my Own" by Robyn ( love her! ). I will say the one with the longer intro is the one I like, but intro's in remixes tend to be lengthy.

just wanted to share that and.....

You know David Guetta always gets me for days, and if u didn't know now u do =] lol hope u like this slight throwback (well, for me).

Sex, a topic I am overly familiar with, and one that has been apparently trending on here the past couple of posts I've seen. As obvious as it may be, this generation has slowly converted into a sexually addicted one. I am not saying I am totally against sex, but people have become more and more like nymphomaniacs. Sites where you are to meet people now turned into sites so everyone can hook up. Facebook, especially in the gay community, has turned into a sex show. Everyone is having shirtless pictures, and adding people not for the sole purpose of possibly making a friend or relationship ( or something along those lines ) but, to simply sleep with these men and women because they expose themselves on a daily basis (making themselves seem easy, which they usually are).

I used to talk about sex constantly, and I still do from time to time jokingly, but I don't act upon it as constant as everyone else does. Infidelity and promiscuity has increased severely the past couple of years, from simple talk to pure action. I get it, sex is great, I agree; but now there is even apps on Iphones, android phones, etc to meet guys and have sex with each other. I find them really curious to use, and read all the nonsense people say to just simply bust that nut with the use of sex, rather than masturbation. I have urges just like everyone else, but I can control mine. WILL POWER PEOPLE!!

I also believe that people lately have been using sex as a means of proving they still "got the goods" aswell as the reason why they expose themselves in pictures and so forth. I know this is very contradicting for people who know me because I'll say "damn!" or something like that; however, I'll say things like that but while I say one simple thing that yes, they do look good with their shirt off, while everyone else is trying to say all these sexual comments towards these people. The more "masculine" or "sexy" u look has now turned into the main focus of what everyone wants in a relationship, intellect and personality mean nothing. No wonder why all these people really never have lasting relationships, because if it is based solely on sex, and the sex isn't good, guess what? The relationship ends, you never really loved them, and know nothing of what love is.

So SEX: ARE YOU SORRY? because I feel sorry for you. lol =]

 I actually found this video a day ago, has nothing to do with sex but I found it very entertaining to watch. It's footage from Madonnas Concert as you'll tell, but the point she tries to get across is very inspiring, I suppose. ARE YOU LISTENING?

 This song is by Porcelain Black and it's called  Who's Next. I like this song, I am very open to different genres of music, I hope you are too =] Plus, Sounds like a song u can slutatiously dance to which fits into my theme nicely lmao.